If only worrying burned calories…

Worrywart

Worrywart

Let me start by saying, I’m a big worrywart. My last entry was about freaking out over stuff I probably shouldn’t have. I was worried about my book launch. I stressed about having enough drinks, would people show up, and more importantly, I prayed I wouldn’t say anything inappropriate.

I gave myself a few gray hairs over nothing.

The book launch was amazing! Friends, family, and supporters showed up in droves to the bookstore. The best part is I didn’t even have to send anyone outside to twirl a sign to advertise. (I told my kid if we didn’t have a good crowd I’d give him twenty bucks to do it, he was all about it.)

Currently, I’m in the midst of a book blog tour and a social media blast. The feedback has been positive and I’ve received some great reviews from readers.

Literary Addicts End of Summer Event – Parenting | Life Style | Reviews

My head hasn’t stopped spinning. I keep pinching myself to make sure it’s real. But I’m staying grounded and focused. In addition to marketing Innocent Labor, I’m working on the sequel.

Now that I’ve released my first book, I determined to publish another.

Of course, I’m not saying I don’t log onto Amazon, read the reviews over and over, and start grinning like a mad fool.

I’m not saying that at all…Don’t judge me.

The Final Read Through

And now to the next step. The final read through before sending it to the publisher for publication. Once I hit send, there’s no going back.

“Dear God, please let everything be okay…”

Labyrinth Goblins Black T Shirt. La mia recensione @ http://postmodemplan.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/labyrinth-dove-tutto-e-possibile-da-flop-a-stracult/

Labyrinth Goblins

No such luck. I found errors I swear hadn’t been there before. Missing words, stuff switched around in a sentence, sections that made me question WTH was I thinking.

At this point, Goblins are dancing around my head. Pointing and prodding at my every insecurity, their shrieks and maniacal laughter taunting me at every turn.

It’s devastating because I had my book professional edited, multiple times. But, like my publisher said everyone is human and mistakes happen. How many times have you read a book from a well-known author and caught an error? Things can get past even the most discerning eye.

Yoga girl in meditation pose, digital PNG clip art (Alana 487)

Meditation Pose

Breathe, Monica, breathe. Wuuu Saaaa.

Thankfully, I’m able to list everything I found and send it to the person who formatted my book. She can submit the corrections and everything will be right in the universe once again.

I keep trying to remind myself to stay positive and focused. Don’t let my fears overwhelm my world.

Honestly, though at times like this it’s easier said than done.

be brave

Be Brave

It’s almost time

Well, things are getting real. I know I’ve said it before, but now I’m talking to my publisher about release dates and pricing. And it’s awesome!

Of course, I’m a bit of an emotional basket case. I’m not going to lie, I’ve considered following in the footsteps of some of the literary greats and taking up alcoholism because I’m losing my mind (JK, I can’t handle the hangovers, I’m a sissy.)

Sylvia Plath quote | "God, how I ricochet between certainties and doubts."

Sylvia Plath quote

But, seriously anxiety attacks and mood swings have been part of my daily action plan whether I want it added to the list or not. Exercise, yoga poses, and stress eating haven’t helped at all. So I do what every other red-blooded, gung-ho driven writer does in a situation such as this, I ignore it all and keep pushing forward.

I’m researching book blog tours, purchasing marketing materials, and utilizing social media for blatant self-promotion like I learned in PR101. Do I think it’s enough to garner enough attention to generate a solid following of dedicated fans and boost sales?

I don’t know. I hope so.

Here’s what I do know, I’m releasing my book in the next couple of weeks and I’m freaking out!!!

How Does One Become a Butterfly?

Just thoughts

As I stumble into the jungle of writing I’m finding that nothing is as simple as it seems not even my name. I am currently trying to determine what my “brand” should be. Do I write under my own name, create a variation of my name, or just go for a full fledge alter ego and create an alias? Yikes…choices, choices, it’s like being at the candy store and you can only have one. Sigh, I’ll be honest I know I’m overthinking it but I can’t help myself.

But enough of that, I’m at least writing. I’ve got some good ideas swirling around in my head; I’ve just got to get it on paper (in my laptop). This is always easier said than done but its ok. As Branli (www.branlicaidryn.com)  is quick to remind me “The first draft is always rough, don’t worry about it. Just get it out and then continue to work out the details on the next draft.” Thank goodness for good advice from good friends to help keep me sane and focused.

Keeping up with twitter and the blog has been very interesting. It’s definitely not for the weak or weary. I have already been asked if I am going to be addicted to my phone to keep up with it all. I didn’t have the heart to tell my hubby that it’s more likely to happen than not. Some things are better left unsaid.

Well my brain seems to be shutting down so I will end this for the night.

Buenos Noches, have a good night.

Freedom and Acceptance

Image

The stirring of life begins

I can feel my senses awakening

Slowly, ever so slowly I push my wings free

The wind caresses my body, whispering to me of adventure and promises of love

My heart yearns to be free but…

I can’t rush my bid for freedom…not yet, oh no not yet

The light dances off the sparkling leaves

Multitudes of colors that I can barely see through the gauze of my cocoon

My wings quiver in anticipation; my body shakes with anticipation

But I am still trapped…in my cocoon…waiting for the right time

Pushing through the fabric of Mother Nature’s nurturing grasp

I am anxious to be free, to share my beauty and magnificence with the world

Oh what joys I will experience, what adventures I will have

Finally, at last I can feel the last of my chains falling away

The sounds, the colors bombard my senses, I am exuberant!

I sail across the field, buffeted by the wind

Thrown here and there as insignificant as an insect

But I am a butterfly

I am more than a mere insect…aren’t I?

Time passes and with it comes knowledge

Although yes I am a butterfly and perhaps I am just an insect

But I am ME and I am FREE

So on to the next adventure, sailing into the winds that will carry me through fields of flowers  

Embracing the beauty and magnificence of not just myself, but of the world  

 

I started this poem almost a year ago. Seemed kind of prophetic, huh? I do feel free now, doing what has been hiding inside for so many years. I wasn’t going to post it because it feels like I’m exposing such a vulnurable part of myself. But I guess that’s the point isn’t it? I hapn’d to come across a poem from Sylvia Plath (A Mad Girl’s Love Song)  and realized as writers exposing the most hidden, darkest, vulnerable parts of ourselves is where the beauty comes from. Eh, whatever maybe I’m just having an emo moment.. don’t judge me, it happens.